I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
