i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
