Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
