Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
