some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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