Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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