The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
