What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
