i barfeds in our rink
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
