On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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