omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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