Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
