So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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