i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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