We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He felt like a one man threesome
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
