if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
