I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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