Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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