It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize