What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
