I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
