How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im part way to drunk.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
