I wish I could teleport
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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