And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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