im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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