I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
