3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
