I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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