I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
