He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
