i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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