I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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