Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so let's talk penis.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
