Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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