You're my little dorito
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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