Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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