what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
only you would photoshop your dick
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We are two peas in an std pod
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
