You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
