Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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