Having a random hookup so left but love u
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
