I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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