I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
