My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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