No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
