He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
