She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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