I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
