I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
