My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We're too hungover to prance.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
