I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
