But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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