On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
